QAF 119-120 Drabbles
Dec. 7th, 2005 08:03 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
pegginMy muse has been very good to me today!
Episode 119
Michael thinks I'm using sex, drugs and booze to hide my true feelings. Maybe he's right. But if I am hiding my feelings, it's because I don't know how I'm supposed to feel. I remember all the cuts and bruises he gave me as a kid, and there's a part of me that's glad the son of a bitch is gone; the part that wants to dance on his grave. But there's another part of me, a part that I'll never admit to anyone, that is heartbroken, knowing I've lost all hope of ever gaining my father's love and approval.
Episode 120
"Check back with me in an hour."
You'd think, after all this time, I’d be used to having him say things like that to me. But I'm not, and I doubt I ever will be. It still hurts like a knife in my heart every time he pushes me away.
I know it's pathetic, but I just can’t help myself. As the hour comes to a close, I find myself heading his way. All I want is for him to tell me that he's done looking, at least for tonight, and that I'm the one he wants to take home.
Episode 119
Michael thinks I'm using sex, drugs and booze to hide my true feelings. Maybe he's right. But if I am hiding my feelings, it's because I don't know how I'm supposed to feel. I remember all the cuts and bruises he gave me as a kid, and there's a part of me that's glad the son of a bitch is gone; the part that wants to dance on his grave. But there's another part of me, a part that I'll never admit to anyone, that is heartbroken, knowing I've lost all hope of ever gaining my father's love and approval.
Episode 120
"Check back with me in an hour."
You'd think, after all this time, I’d be used to having him say things like that to me. But I'm not, and I doubt I ever will be. It still hurts like a knife in my heart every time he pushes me away.
I know it's pathetic, but I just can’t help myself. As the hour comes to a close, I find myself heading his way. All I want is for him to tell me that he's done looking, at least for tonight, and that I'm the one he wants to take home.
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Date: 2005-12-08 01:58 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-12-08 03:11 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-12-08 09:26 am (UTC)And the second one - aww, poor season1 Justin! ;))
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Date: 2005-12-08 11:18 am (UTC)I know! Brian was just so mean to him sometimes. Like there was a shot in hell of Brian finding anything "better" than Justin... that night or any other!